Sebastià Oliveras
Tres amics ben diferents: l’Avi, la Néta i la Gossa
10. DISSIMULACIÓ (fragment)
Edició bilingüe català-anglès
Avui al matí la Nora és a casa. Fa bon temps però, com que ens hem aixecat tard, deixarem la caminada que solem fer cada dia al matí per havent dinat. Som al despatx (28 octubre 2007).
Nora: Avi, fa dies que no parlem d'animals.
Sebastià: Ah!, de quin voldries parlar?
N: Dels porcs, si et sembla bé, perquè sempre dius que són molt trempats.
S: Mira, els porcs saben dissimular, una cosa que no saben fer els altres animals.
N: Què vols dir?
S: Us en posaré un exemple. La Lluna, que era una gossa molt viva, de vegades corria a amagar-se. Quan ho feia, segur que havia fet pipí en un lloc on no l'havia de fer o que havia trencat alguna cosa. Com que sabia que la renyaríem, s'anava a amagar, ella mateixa es descobria. Un porc això no ho fa, fa veure que no ha estat ell, és a dir, dissimula.
Cussa (la gossa): Què dieu de la Lluna?
S: Que era molt trempada, però tu també n'ets molt!
C: Ah!
N: Teníeu els porcs a dins de casa i us hi feien pipí?
S: No, no anava ben bé així. Els teníem en una cort del pati, en locals a sota de casa i en corts al paller.
N: I com dissimulaven?
S: Els porcs es coneixen entre ells amb l'olor. Saben qui són perquè s'enflairen. Els altres animals també, fins i tot, segons diuen els metges, els nens petits, els nadons, coneixen la mare per l'olor que fa.
Nosaltres teníem els porcs en corts de vuit, deu, dotze... Els porcs de cada cort eren de la mateixa 1germandat. Si en una cort hi posaves un garrí que no era germà dels altres, li començaven a mossegar les orelles, la cua i, més tard, tot el cos. Li feien sang i, si no el treies, el mataven.
C: Són molt dolents els porcs, per això en fan botifarres!
N: Què dius ara, tu!
C: Que sí!
S: No us discutiu, noies!, mirem de viure amb calma. Com us deia, al porc que no és germà dels altres, l'acaben matant. Per això, quan havíem de posar un o dos porcs en una cort on ja n 'hi havia d'altres, els ruixàvem de cap a peus uns quants dies seguits, els que ja hi havia a la cort i els nous, amb un producte de la casa Zotal, que és un líquid que fa molta pudor.
N: I llavors, ja no el mataven?
S: Depèn, de vegades anava bé, sobretot si els porcs eren ben petits. Altres vegades no es deixaven enganyar i els envestien2 igualment.
C: I, per què els canviàveu de casa?
S: És una pregunta molt intel·ligent, Cussa. És que de vegades els porcs d'una cort estaven malalts, se'n morien uns quants i només n'hi quedaven un o dos; altres vegades veníem una 3ventrada de porcs grossos i deixàvem els més petits, els renocs, que en dèiem, perquè s'acabessin de fer grossos. Llavors també ens en quedàvem a la cort un o dos.
En aquests casos, com que teníem poques corts, miràvem de posar-los en una altra cort amb porcs que tinguessin aproximadament la mateixa edat.
N: I llavors els altres porcells tenien por que els qui arribaven nous els hi agafessin el menjar, no?
S: Em sembla que no era pas això. Els animals (nosaltres també en som) actuem molt sovint per instint.
N: Què vol dir 'per instint'?
S: Vol dir sense pensar les coses, per un 4impuls, per una necessitat de fer allò que ens ve de dintre, i que és diferent, segons la mena d'animals que som.
N: I, com dissimulaven els porcs?
S: El garrí que era nou a la cort, quan el mossegaven, es posava a xisclar fent uns crits que se sentien a més de cent metres lluny. Llavors nosaltres, si érem a casa, és clar, travessàvem el pati, ens acostàvem a la cort, vèiem els atacs, renyàvem els porcs atacants i els picàvem amb garrots des de la paret de la cort, des de fora. Eren unes parets que feien una mica més d'un metre d'alçària. I ja hi tornava a haver pau!
N: I ja s'havia acabat, el problema?
S: Ja pots comptar! Els porcs, quan comencen aquesta feina, l'acaben. Si no treus el garrí nou, el maten. Nosaltres, sovint érem la mare i jo, no fèiem el canvi i esperàvem que arribés el pare de treballar, al vespre, per posar el porc ferit (o els porcs, si n'hi havia més d'un) en una altra cort, si en teníem alguna de buida. No el trèiem fins al cap d'unes hores. Si no ens quedava cap cort, el deixàvem de moment al paller amb els conills, la mula i les gallines.
Quan havíem sortit de la cort, després de castigar els garrins, hi havia pau durant un quart o vint minuts. En acabat tornava a començar 5l'eixordament de xiscles de la víctima, o de les víctimes, si eren dos els qui rebien.
Com a tot arreu, entre els porcs hi ha un líder i aquest és qui comença a mossegar. Els altres el segueixen i també ataquen.
C: Són molt dolents, els porcs! Els gossos no ho fem pas això!
S: També en feu de coses quan us convé. Tothom en fa de maldats, ara bé, són més o menys refinades segons el nivell d'intel·ligència de cada espècie.
Ara tornem a la nostra història. Quan la mare i jo arribàvem a la cort per auxiliar el porc ferit, la segona vegada que ho fèiem (i la tercera), hi havia un gran silenci. Ens sentien arribar i ja tots callaven abans que entréssim. Era interessant de veure: un porc es gratava a la paret amb tota naturalitat, l'altre jugava amb un company, un altre s'estirava per terra, uns altres eren mansament ajaguts al jaç, un altre gratava la pila del menjar, etc. I el porc ferit restava sol i, 6aparentment, calmat.
N: Feien veure que no l'havien mossegat.
S: Això mateix, dissimulaven. Si la meva mare, el meu pare, jo o qui fos, els renyava o els ventava un cop d'escombra, ens dirigien una mirada innocent, com volent dir: «Jo?, què he fet jo?» Es comportaven com persones.
N: I, després de la segona vegada, ja no hi tornaven?
S: Hi tornaven tantes vegades com convenia fins que trèiem el foraster. Alguna vegada que nosaltres no érem a casa vam trobar el pobre porcell mort, ple de ferides. Ara bé, cada cop que hi anàvem nosaltres a defensar el ferit, trigaven un xic més a tornar a començar l'atac. Suposo que es volien assegurar que nosaltres ja no ens en recordaríem, o que no fóssim a casa. Sempre hi tornaven, però, perquè el seu instint s'imposava. Algunes vegades, cansats de tants espants, ens quedàvem la mare o jo a fer guàrdia al costat de la cort.
10. DISSIMULATION
Today, in the morning, Nora is at home. The weather is nice, but as we have got up late we will leave the walk that we usually do every morning until after dinner. We are in the office (28 October 2007).
Nora: Grandad, it’s been ages since we last talked about animals.
Sebastià: Ah! Which ones do you want to talk about?
N: About pigs, if you want to, because you’re always saying that they’re very clever.
S: Listen, pigs know how to dissimulate, it’s something that other animals can’t do.
N: What do you mean?
S: Let me give you an example. Lluna, who was a very clever dog, sometimes rushed away to hide. When she did that, you could be sure that she had done a pee in a place where she shouldn't have or that she had broken something. Because she knew that we would tell her off, she would go into hiding. She told on herself. A pig doesn't do that, it makes it look like it hasn't done it, it pretends, that is to say, it dissimulates.
Cussa: What did you say about Lluna?
S: That she was very intelligent, but you are too!
C: Ah!
N: Did you have pigs in your house and did they pee there?
S: No, things weren’t like that. We had them in a pigsty in the yard, in sties under the house and in pigsties in the barn.
N: And how did they dissimulate?
S: Pigs know each other by smell. They know who they are because they smell each other. Other animals do it too, even, according to the doctors, little children, babies, know their mother by her smell. We had pigs in the sties in groups of eight, ten, twelve... The pigs in every sty were from the same litter. If you put a piglet in a sty who wasn't a brother or sister to the others, the others would start to bite his ears, tail and later his whole body. They drew blood and, if you didn't take him out, they would kill him.
C: Pigs are very cruel. That's why people make sausages out of them!
N: What are you saying now, you!
C: It's true!
S: Don't argue, girls! Let's try to live in peace. As I was saying, they end up killing the pig which isn’t related to the others. That's why when we had to put one or two pigs in a sty where there were already some others, for several days in a row we splashed the ones who were already in the sty and the new ones, from head to toe with a product called Zotal, which is a liquid that has a really strong smell.
N: And then, didn't they kill them?
S: It depends, sometimes it worked well, especially if the pigs were very small. Other times they didn't fall for the trick and they attacked them all the same.
C: And why did you use to change their house?
S: That is a very intelligent question, Cussa. Sometimes it happened that the pigs of one sty were ill, some of them died and only one or two survived. Other times we used to sell a litter of big pigs and we would keep the little ones, the runts, that's what we used to call them, because they end up being big. Then we would also be left with one or two in a sty. In these cases, as we only used to have a few sties, we would try to put them in another sty with pigs that were about the same age.
N: And then, the other piglets were afraid that the new arrivals would steal their food, weren't they?
S: It didn't seem to be like that. Animals, (we are animals too) very often act by instinct.
N: What does that mean 'by instinct'?
S: It means not thinking about things, acting on impulse, on a need to do something which comes from inside, and that is different, depending on the kind of animal we are.
N: And how do they dissimulate, the pigs?
S: The pig that was new in the pigsty, when he was bitten, began to squeal with some squeals that you could hear more than a hundred metres away. Then we, if we were at home, of course, we used to cross the yard and get close to the sty, we would see the attacks, tell off the attacking pigs and hit them with sticks over the wall, from outside the sty. There were walls that were a little more than a metre high. And then the peace returned!
N: And was the problem finished then?
S: Not at all! When pigs start something they finish it. If you don't take the new pig out, they will kill him. We, often it used to be my mother and me, didn't make the change and we used to wait until my father arrived home from work, in the evening, to put the injured pig (or pigs, if there was more than one) in another sty, if we had somewhere free. We didn't take him out until a few hours later. Then, if we didn't have a free pigsty, we would leave him for the moment in the stable with the rabbits, the mule and the chickens.
When we had left the sty, after we had punished the piglets, there was peace for a quarter of an hour or twenty minutes. Later on, the terrible cries of the victim would start again, or the victims, if there were two who were being attacked.
Like everywhere else, there is a leader among pigs and it’s this one which starts the biting. The others follow them and attack as well.
C: They are very bad, pigs! Dogs don't do things like that!
S: You do bad things too, if necessary. Everybody does bad things; but, they are more or less sophisticated depending on the level of intelligence of each species.
Now let’s go back to our story: when my mother and I arrived at the sty to help the wounded pig, the second time we did it (and the third), there was a great silence. They knew we were coming and they would all go quiet before we came in. It was interesting to see: one pig would be scratching on the wall quite naturally, another playing with a friend, another stretched out on the ground, some others would be lying quietly on the bed, another one scratching the pile of food, etc. And the injured pig would be alone and, apparently calm.
N: They were making it look like they hadn't bitten him.
S: That's right! They were pretending. If my mother, my father, me or someone else told them off or gave them a hit with a broom, they would look at us innocently, as if to say “Me? What have I done?” They acted like people.
N: And, after the second time, didn't they do it again?
S: Yes, they did it again as many times as needed until we took the foreigner out. Once when we weren't at home, we went in to find the poor piglet dead, covered in wounds.
But, every time we would go in to defend the injured pig, they would take a little longer before they started a new attack. I suppose that they wanted to be sure that we wouldn't remember or that we weren’t at home. They always attacked again, but it was because their instinct took over. Sometimes, tired of so many shocks, we used to stay, my mother or me, on guard at the side of the sty.
Edició bilingüe català-anglès
Avui al matí la Nora és a casa. Fa bon temps però, com que ens hem aixecat tard, deixarem la caminada que solem fer cada dia al matí per havent dinat. Som al despatx (28 octubre 2007).
Nora: Avi, fa dies que no parlem d'animals.
Sebastià: Ah!, de quin voldries parlar?
N: Dels porcs, si et sembla bé, perquè sempre dius que són molt trempats.
S: Mira, els porcs saben dissimular, una cosa que no saben fer els altres animals.
N: Què vols dir?
S: Us en posaré un exemple. La Lluna, que era una gossa molt viva, de vegades corria a amagar-se. Quan ho feia, segur que havia fet pipí en un lloc on no l'havia de fer o que havia trencat alguna cosa. Com que sabia que la renyaríem, s'anava a amagar, ella mateixa es descobria. Un porc això no ho fa, fa veure que no ha estat ell, és a dir, dissimula.
Cussa (la gossa): Què dieu de la Lluna?
S: Que era molt trempada, però tu també n'ets molt!
C: Ah!
N: Teníeu els porcs a dins de casa i us hi feien pipí?
S: No, no anava ben bé així. Els teníem en una cort del pati, en locals a sota de casa i en corts al paller.
N: I com dissimulaven?
S: Els porcs es coneixen entre ells amb l'olor. Saben qui són perquè s'enflairen. Els altres animals també, fins i tot, segons diuen els metges, els nens petits, els nadons, coneixen la mare per l'olor que fa.
Nosaltres teníem els porcs en corts de vuit, deu, dotze... Els porcs de cada cort eren de la mateixa 1germandat. Si en una cort hi posaves un garrí que no era germà dels altres, li començaven a mossegar les orelles, la cua i, més tard, tot el cos. Li feien sang i, si no el treies, el mataven.
C: Són molt dolents els porcs, per això en fan botifarres!
N: Què dius ara, tu!
C: Que sí!
S: No us discutiu, noies!, mirem de viure amb calma. Com us deia, al porc que no és germà dels altres, l'acaben matant. Per això, quan havíem de posar un o dos porcs en una cort on ja n 'hi havia d'altres, els ruixàvem de cap a peus uns quants dies seguits, els que ja hi havia a la cort i els nous, amb un producte de la casa Zotal, que és un líquid que fa molta pudor.
N: I llavors, ja no el mataven?
S: Depèn, de vegades anava bé, sobretot si els porcs eren ben petits. Altres vegades no es deixaven enganyar i els envestien2 igualment.
C: I, per què els canviàveu de casa?
S: És una pregunta molt intel·ligent, Cussa. És que de vegades els porcs d'una cort estaven malalts, se'n morien uns quants i només n'hi quedaven un o dos; altres vegades veníem una 3ventrada de porcs grossos i deixàvem els més petits, els renocs, que en dèiem, perquè s'acabessin de fer grossos. Llavors també ens en quedàvem a la cort un o dos.
En aquests casos, com que teníem poques corts, miràvem de posar-los en una altra cort amb porcs que tinguessin aproximadament la mateixa edat.
N: I llavors els altres porcells tenien por que els qui arribaven nous els hi agafessin el menjar, no?
S: Em sembla que no era pas això. Els animals (nosaltres també en som) actuem molt sovint per instint.
N: Què vol dir 'per instint'?
S: Vol dir sense pensar les coses, per un 4impuls, per una necessitat de fer allò que ens ve de dintre, i que és diferent, segons la mena d'animals que som.
N: I, com dissimulaven els porcs?
S: El garrí que era nou a la cort, quan el mossegaven, es posava a xisclar fent uns crits que se sentien a més de cent metres lluny. Llavors nosaltres, si érem a casa, és clar, travessàvem el pati, ens acostàvem a la cort, vèiem els atacs, renyàvem els porcs atacants i els picàvem amb garrots des de la paret de la cort, des de fora. Eren unes parets que feien una mica més d'un metre d'alçària. I ja hi tornava a haver pau!
N: I ja s'havia acabat, el problema?
S: Ja pots comptar! Els porcs, quan comencen aquesta feina, l'acaben. Si no treus el garrí nou, el maten. Nosaltres, sovint érem la mare i jo, no fèiem el canvi i esperàvem que arribés el pare de treballar, al vespre, per posar el porc ferit (o els porcs, si n'hi havia més d'un) en una altra cort, si en teníem alguna de buida. No el trèiem fins al cap d'unes hores. Si no ens quedava cap cort, el deixàvem de moment al paller amb els conills, la mula i les gallines.
Quan havíem sortit de la cort, després de castigar els garrins, hi havia pau durant un quart o vint minuts. En acabat tornava a començar 5l'eixordament de xiscles de la víctima, o de les víctimes, si eren dos els qui rebien.
Com a tot arreu, entre els porcs hi ha un líder i aquest és qui comença a mossegar. Els altres el segueixen i també ataquen.
C: Són molt dolents, els porcs! Els gossos no ho fem pas això!
S: També en feu de coses quan us convé. Tothom en fa de maldats, ara bé, són més o menys refinades segons el nivell d'intel·ligència de cada espècie.
Ara tornem a la nostra història. Quan la mare i jo arribàvem a la cort per auxiliar el porc ferit, la segona vegada que ho fèiem (i la tercera), hi havia un gran silenci. Ens sentien arribar i ja tots callaven abans que entréssim. Era interessant de veure: un porc es gratava a la paret amb tota naturalitat, l'altre jugava amb un company, un altre s'estirava per terra, uns altres eren mansament ajaguts al jaç, un altre gratava la pila del menjar, etc. I el porc ferit restava sol i, 6aparentment, calmat.
N: Feien veure que no l'havien mossegat.
S: Això mateix, dissimulaven. Si la meva mare, el meu pare, jo o qui fos, els renyava o els ventava un cop d'escombra, ens dirigien una mirada innocent, com volent dir: «Jo?, què he fet jo?» Es comportaven com persones.
N: I, després de la segona vegada, ja no hi tornaven?
S: Hi tornaven tantes vegades com convenia fins que trèiem el foraster. Alguna vegada que nosaltres no érem a casa vam trobar el pobre porcell mort, ple de ferides. Ara bé, cada cop que hi anàvem nosaltres a defensar el ferit, trigaven un xic més a tornar a començar l'atac. Suposo que es volien assegurar que nosaltres ja no ens en recordaríem, o que no fóssim a casa. Sempre hi tornaven, però, perquè el seu instint s'imposava. Algunes vegades, cansats de tants espants, ens quedàvem la mare o jo a fer guàrdia al costat de la cort.
10. DISSIMULATION
Today, in the morning, Nora is at home. The weather is nice, but as we have got up late we will leave the walk that we usually do every morning until after dinner. We are in the office (28 October 2007).
Nora: Grandad, it’s been ages since we last talked about animals.
Sebastià: Ah! Which ones do you want to talk about?
N: About pigs, if you want to, because you’re always saying that they’re very clever.
S: Listen, pigs know how to dissimulate, it’s something that other animals can’t do.
N: What do you mean?
S: Let me give you an example. Lluna, who was a very clever dog, sometimes rushed away to hide. When she did that, you could be sure that she had done a pee in a place where she shouldn't have or that she had broken something. Because she knew that we would tell her off, she would go into hiding. She told on herself. A pig doesn't do that, it makes it look like it hasn't done it, it pretends, that is to say, it dissimulates.
Cussa: What did you say about Lluna?
S: That she was very intelligent, but you are too!
C: Ah!
N: Did you have pigs in your house and did they pee there?
S: No, things weren’t like that. We had them in a pigsty in the yard, in sties under the house and in pigsties in the barn.
N: And how did they dissimulate?
S: Pigs know each other by smell. They know who they are because they smell each other. Other animals do it too, even, according to the doctors, little children, babies, know their mother by her smell. We had pigs in the sties in groups of eight, ten, twelve... The pigs in every sty were from the same litter. If you put a piglet in a sty who wasn't a brother or sister to the others, the others would start to bite his ears, tail and later his whole body. They drew blood and, if you didn't take him out, they would kill him.
C: Pigs are very cruel. That's why people make sausages out of them!
N: What are you saying now, you!
C: It's true!
S: Don't argue, girls! Let's try to live in peace. As I was saying, they end up killing the pig which isn’t related to the others. That's why when we had to put one or two pigs in a sty where there were already some others, for several days in a row we splashed the ones who were already in the sty and the new ones, from head to toe with a product called Zotal, which is a liquid that has a really strong smell.
N: And then, didn't they kill them?
S: It depends, sometimes it worked well, especially if the pigs were very small. Other times they didn't fall for the trick and they attacked them all the same.
C: And why did you use to change their house?
S: That is a very intelligent question, Cussa. Sometimes it happened that the pigs of one sty were ill, some of them died and only one or two survived. Other times we used to sell a litter of big pigs and we would keep the little ones, the runts, that's what we used to call them, because they end up being big. Then we would also be left with one or two in a sty. In these cases, as we only used to have a few sties, we would try to put them in another sty with pigs that were about the same age.
N: And then, the other piglets were afraid that the new arrivals would steal their food, weren't they?
S: It didn't seem to be like that. Animals, (we are animals too) very often act by instinct.
N: What does that mean 'by instinct'?
S: It means not thinking about things, acting on impulse, on a need to do something which comes from inside, and that is different, depending on the kind of animal we are.
N: And how do they dissimulate, the pigs?
S: The pig that was new in the pigsty, when he was bitten, began to squeal with some squeals that you could hear more than a hundred metres away. Then we, if we were at home, of course, we used to cross the yard and get close to the sty, we would see the attacks, tell off the attacking pigs and hit them with sticks over the wall, from outside the sty. There were walls that were a little more than a metre high. And then the peace returned!
N: And was the problem finished then?
S: Not at all! When pigs start something they finish it. If you don't take the new pig out, they will kill him. We, often it used to be my mother and me, didn't make the change and we used to wait until my father arrived home from work, in the evening, to put the injured pig (or pigs, if there was more than one) in another sty, if we had somewhere free. We didn't take him out until a few hours later. Then, if we didn't have a free pigsty, we would leave him for the moment in the stable with the rabbits, the mule and the chickens.
When we had left the sty, after we had punished the piglets, there was peace for a quarter of an hour or twenty minutes. Later on, the terrible cries of the victim would start again, or the victims, if there were two who were being attacked.
Like everywhere else, there is a leader among pigs and it’s this one which starts the biting. The others follow them and attack as well.
C: They are very bad, pigs! Dogs don't do things like that!
S: You do bad things too, if necessary. Everybody does bad things; but, they are more or less sophisticated depending on the level of intelligence of each species.
Now let’s go back to our story: when my mother and I arrived at the sty to help the wounded pig, the second time we did it (and the third), there was a great silence. They knew we were coming and they would all go quiet before we came in. It was interesting to see: one pig would be scratching on the wall quite naturally, another playing with a friend, another stretched out on the ground, some others would be lying quietly on the bed, another one scratching the pile of food, etc. And the injured pig would be alone and, apparently calm.
N: They were making it look like they hadn't bitten him.
S: That's right! They were pretending. If my mother, my father, me or someone else told them off or gave them a hit with a broom, they would look at us innocently, as if to say “Me? What have I done?” They acted like people.
N: And, after the second time, didn't they do it again?
S: Yes, they did it again as many times as needed until we took the foreigner out. Once when we weren't at home, we went in to find the poor piglet dead, covered in wounds.
But, every time we would go in to defend the injured pig, they would take a little longer before they started a new attack. I suppose that they wanted to be sure that we wouldn't remember or that we weren’t at home. They always attacked again, but it was because their instinct took over. Sometimes, tired of so many shocks, we used to stay, my mother or me, on guard at the side of the sty.